Sleepless in NOLA

Are you a tosser and a turner? A nighttime mover and a shaker? Are you a deeply dozing sound sleeper? Do you jolt up at every little noise or dream?

I've always been a sound sleeper. Within moments of lying down and closing my eyes I turn myself off to the conscious world and surrender to deep, deep sleep. My dad says I could fall asleep in a phone booth. I've never tried it but I'm sure he's right.

Lately my mind reels as I lay me down to sleep. Will I lose 5 pounds before Shanelle's wedding? I should start running. How much are running shoes nowadays? Am I making enough money? I should go back to school. I can't wait to own my own bookstore! Are e-books taking over? I need to write more often. Will I ever be a grandmother? Should I have not gotten those back x-rays last year? What is John Travolta doing right now? Does God exist?

An hour or two later I finally doze off as visions of shoes and John Travolta dance through my head. (What are you doing in my head, John Travolta!) An hour or so later I am woken up by a nightmare about alligators the size of insects. Or insects that look like alligators, what have you. Or maybe I'm awaken by my partner drunkenly banging his way into the apartment. Or perhaps some jolly guests bellowing "When the Saints Go Marching In" at the hotel next door. I sandwich my head between my pillow and count sheep for around for another thirty minutes while desperately trying NOT to think about alligators, insects or John Travolta. I make it back to sleep just to be awaken one hour later by another crazy dream about giant squids or tree people. Three hours later, a woman's screams of exaggerated ecstasy from the hotel pull me from sleep yet again. Moments or hours later I startle out of sleep again to a clatter next to the bed. The closet door is rattling and I'm sure it's tree person or an alligator. Come to find out, it's just a paperback of For Whom the Bell Tolls that fell off the bed. At least it's Robert Jordan who keeps me up this time instead of John Travolta. But I do wish that damn bell would stop tolling so I can get some shut eye.